Miss Me?

It's apparently been about three months since my last post. . .

Oops.

See, we re-enacted The Money Pit bought and remodeled a house and moved in.

And my computer broke.  Again.

(Dramatic re-enactment. Photo credit: Hackaday)

Thanksgiving happened.  And then, Christmas happened.

(Photo credit: Flikr)

And then there's always these two:

Hopefully, the new year will bring more opportunities to share our lives with all of you!

Learning the Hard Lessons

Today, I was laying Samantha down for her afternoon nap, when I heard an unholy screaming from the bathroom.  Quickly, I put her down and ran to see why my son was losing his mind.

He was sitting there over the toilet he had just flushed, crying as though he'd broken an arm or something.

"My car, Mommy.  My car," he sobbed.

Apparently, he had dropped the car in the toilet by accident, and flushed before he thought to get it out.

I held him as I explained that I couldn't get it back, even if I tried.  His beloved Hot Wheels was gone forever.  His tears soaked my shirt, but I just rocked his little half-naked body, trying to find words of comfort.  He has dealt with things being broken.  He has dealt with choosing to get rid of things.  He has even dealt with having something taken away from him.

Never before has something he so loved been torn away from him accidentally and suddenly.  Yes, it was only a toy car, but to him, it's a big deal.

As his hiccuping tears drew to a close, he murmured, "I'm sorry, Mommy.  I'm so, so sorry.  It's all my fault."

My heart broke again, and I grasped for words to explain that accidents happen, and they aren't anyone's fault.  They just happen and they suck, and sometimes, they can't be fixed.

His sad little silver-blue eyes stared into mine, tear-filled and red-rimmed, as I tried to explain a concept that I have trouble dealing with, even now.  Sometimes things are gone, suddenly, without rhyme or reason.  And you can't fix it.

We snuggled there for some time, wishing the world were different.

And then we dried our tears and went to play trains.  Because the world moves on.

Four.

Yesterday, my oldest baby turned four.

Four.

He's beautiful, and perfect, and sweet and kind, and getting SO BIG.

Yesterday morning, he crawled into bed with me, snuggled in, and asked, "Mommy, why are there balloons?"

The night before, while he slept, I had hung balloons from his doorway.  I replied, "Because it's your birthday, and special things happen on your birthday."

My little man sat there, thinking for a moment, and said, "Oh.  Fair. . . " :)

An hour later, however, when he'd had time to process it, he asked me to go upstairs and look at his "balloon tunnel" with him.  I stood next to him as he stared at it in awe.  "Mommy," he said, "you make me so very happy.  I love you." And he wrapped his little arms around my waist as I choked back tears.

The rest of the day was a blur of breakfast with Grammy and Papa, playtime at Monkey Bizness, nap, and of course, his birthday party.

I have never seen a happier boy than my son last night.  And never have I felt like a better mom than I did in that moment.

Happy birthday, Little Buddy.  You are awesome.

Updates on us

Life is good.

Busy, but good.

Miles is back in school, and about to have his fourth(!!!) birthday.  Sam is sitting up and rolling all over the place.  My days are filled with playdates and house-cleaning, my weekends with trips to the Festival.

Oh, and we've been a little busy working on buying this:

I kept waiting for something to go wrong, and so I held off talking about it.  But, yesterday, the last hurdle was cleared.  After a mountain of paperwork and weeks of being patient, this amazing gem will be ours at the end of October!

:)

The answer to "Where have you been?!?"

Miles is back in school, two days a week.

We are starting the process to (hopefully) buy a house at the end of the year.

My mother just had surgery - nothing major, but not exactly minor either.

Samantha is entering a stage of severe ADD - nothing holds her attention for more than a couple of minutes, but she wants to be entertained CONSTANTLY.

I just finished up selling a consignment sale, and am gearing up to have a garage sale in a couple of weeks.

The dishes are piling up.

So is the laundry.

My floor needs vacuumed.

Miles needs a dentist appointment.

The craft room needs to be cleaned and sorted.

The garage does as well.

Festival starts this weekend, and though I'm not involved, I definitely need to find time to visit.

I'm swamped.  Love you all.

4 months (and a few days)

4 month milestones

• Solid food.  She has had baby oatmeal, applesauce, and mashed banana so far.  Her favorite is applesauce mixed with a little oatmeal for texture. 
• She is trying really hard to sit up on her own, but can't quite balance, yet.
• Incredibly talkative.  She coos when she's happy, grunts when she's angry, and makes gurgling noises when she is hungry.  My favorite, though, is her laugh. :)
• LOVES her big brother, and adores cuddling him and holding his hand.
• Tummy time has gotten easier/better.  She will now stay on her tummy for all of three full minutes before screaming! lol
• She's awake for MUCH more of the day.  One day, she was only up for about an hour to an hour and a half at a time.  The next, she was awake for several hours between naps.  

Love this girl!

Sigh.

It's 4:45 pm and I just ate for the first time today.  And it was a bowl of cereal snarfed in less than five minutes while hiding, crouched on the kitchen floor so I didn't have to share it.

It's been that sort of day.

Sam has a cold.  Miles is just getting over his.  Patrick and I are showing the signs of coming down with it.  Sam suddenly stopped sleeping through the night a couple of days ago, so we did, too.  Miles is feeling very needy and attention-hungry.  Sam only wants to cuddle, and won't nap unless I'm holding her.  Miles has decided that naps are for losers.  I have literally been "on" for eight hours straight.  Every bathroom break was taken at the last possible moment to the sound of screaming.  Every time I sat, I was immediately covered in children (and snot and drool).  Every time I stood, I carried a cranky baby with me and listened to Miles ask me, once more, to come play trains. I am typing this while Samantha whines next to me, because nothing I can do makes her stop.  I have given in and handed Miles my phone to browse YouTube, and he is squeezed in on my other side.  Even in this moment of writing, there is no quiet, no release.

I am exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Don't offer me platitudes.  Don't bother telling me this will all be over soon.  I know it will.  And days like this will not be missed.  I guarantee it.

We will all be okay.  We will get through this, and soon.  But for right now, it kinda sucks.

So, don't be surprised when I don't answer the phone.  I just don't have the energy or the time.