Reflections

This year has been an interesting one.  Good.  Bad.  Ugly, at times.  I have laughed, and cried, and cursed, and loved.  Life has changed in a few big ways, and a myriad of small ones.  Join me on this journey through 2011.

I began the year with a fifteen-month-old who was finally getting the hang of sleeping through the night.  My sleep schedule, which had been so very erratic, began to flatten out and become (somewhat) predictable.  My hopes were that this extra sleep would 'fix' the broken feeling inside.  The sense of being lost in the fog.  The overwhelming feelings of panic.  It took another two months for me to finally admit that sleep was not the problem.  With some groovy drugs and supportive friends and family, I am ending my year with a sense of contentment and peace that was absent before.

I began my year crammed in a tiny town home with my husband, Stacey, my toddler, and the enormous amounts of stuff that we had all acquired.  I am ending my year stretched out in our spacious duplex, free of much of the stuff, and reveling in the sheer huge-ness of Miles' new bedroom.

This year, I found my stride at Festival, and once again remembered why I love my job so very much, even as we faced one of our toughest seasons yet.

This year, we welcomed our nephew, J, and said good-bye to Patrick's grandmother.

This year, I feel as though I finally *clicked* as a mother.  I finally know what I'm doing.  And most days, I can do it.  And I'm happy.

In so many ways, 2011 has been a turning point for me.  Life has changed.  I have changed.  And even with it's struggles and sorrows, this year has been exactly what I needed it to be - happy.

Here's hoping 2012 is even better.

Friday Photos!

Yes, this is Miles' bedroom.  Or as we like to call it:
Toddler Nirvana.

Moom Moom.

It's no secret that Miles has discovered an absolute love for letters.  He points them out on signs while we're driving, and in books while we read.  He has a set of foam letters that he loves to go through over and over again, reciting each one in turn.  He walks around the house singing the alphabet song (without much of a tune, I'll admit), and counts things out using ABC's instead of 123's.

Yes, this child has an affinity for the written word. . .er, letter.

His current favorite book is Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.  We read it, on average, about eleventy-billion times a day.  And he has become so familiar with it that he likes to read along with parts of the book while Daddy or I read.  And now, he has begun to read it on his own.  The following is a fair representation of this book as read by Miles, age 2 years, 3 months:

"A ah B ah C [jibberish] tchee! [tree]
Wee! D F Gee [with a hard g, like in go]! Come H! Tchee!
I K! Tchee!
Hoo come? LM[mumble]P!
Coo [Q]! Aur! [R] S! T! V!
X Y Z! . . .Uhh-oh.
Moom. Moom.
[jibberish] Hug.  Dus' deh pance. [Dust their pants]"

And so on.  I have to say, it's pretty darn adorable.  Especially when he comes to me and says:

"Mom-mom! Book. Moom. Moom."

And my heart melts into my shoes.

Christmas Bliss

Three days of calm, relaxing time with family.

A toddler who was spoiled to the point of being overwhelmed by the sheer awesome of all the stuff.

Warm drinks, cookies, and laughter.

A giant stuffed hippopotamus named Potts.

Family.

Love.

Bliss.

*Sigh*

As though I needed another reminder that I have a son, Miles has become obsessed with butts and farts.  Whenever he toots, he screams, "Mah butt!"  Unfortunately, whenever someone else toots he yells, "Daadaa butt!" or "Mom-mom butt!" or whoever.  I can't help but snicker (because I am apparently twelve years old), and so Miles thinks it's funny (it totally is) and keeps it up.  He also has started grabbing his hiney in the bathtub and saying "Butt, Mom-mom! Mah butt!"  The child is completely obsessed.

So, it should come as no surprise that his boyishness has spilled over into our Christmas celebrations.

Yesterday, as we were unpacking the Nativity set, I was telling Miles the Christmas story.  As I reached each part of the story, I would put the corresponding figure in the stable.  "This is Mary.  She is Jesus' Mommy.  She and Joseph traveled a long way and when they got where they were going, there was no room at the inn, so they had to sleep in a stable."  And Miles grabbed Mary and Joseph and said, "Mom-mom.  Dada." and put them in the house.  We went through all of the animals, and I put the manger in, and then it was time for the Baby Jesus.  I explained how Jesus was born in a stable, and laid in the manger, and handed the figure to Miles.  Miles took it reverently, and whispered, "Bay-be".  He turned it over in his hands, oh so gently, then grinned and said, "Butt!  Bay-be butt!"

Sure enough, Baby Jesus had bare behind.

There are some aspects of motherhood that nothing could have prepared me for.  Talking about the rear end of our Holy Lord is definitely one of them.

Christmas

Today, I woke to an overcast sky, a house full of boxes, a sleepy toddler, and the realization that Christmas is only a few short days away.  My initial response, of course, was to panic.  Gifts to wrap! Stuff to bake!  Projects to do with Boy!  Brain overload! No time! No time!

And then, through the course of a calm, relaxed (yet, productive) rainy day, filled with music instead of TV and art projects instead of tantrums, my attitude has changed.

Christmas is this Sunday!!!  I get to spend time with family!  And watch Miles' face as he opens his gifts!  And decorate a Christmas tree!  And sing carols as lullabies!  And celebrate! And! And! And!

If you can't tell, I'm suddenly very excited for Christmas, and I plan to shove a month's worth of celebration into the next five days.

Merry Christmas!

Mmmm. Home.

We are mostly moved in, though we still have a few loads of random stuff left to transfer.  Then there's all of the cleaning and unpacking and settling in.

But for now, we are home.  And we love it.