Crafty

So, I feel like we're finally more-or-less moved into our duplex.  Finally.  And I'm going to continue to ignore that pile of boxes in the garage that suggests otherwise.  Because, at long last, we have a craft room set up.  It small(ish), and in the unfinished portion of our basement, but you know what?  It's a craft room! In my home!!! So, yeah, garage boxes be darned.  We are moved in.  And I have been putting that craft room to use fairly regularly.

First, I made this onesie for my tiny little niece, Anikah:

This made a perfect gift for her baptism. Especially because it's so true!

And that turned out so well that I made shirts for all of my sister's kids:

One for each of the kids - Valin, Liam, Declan, Joseph, and Anikah.

And then decided that Miles needed something:

This is so very true.  And Miles helped with the paint. :)

After awhile, I decided that I had made enough shirts.  I was ready to tackle something else.  Like knitting:

My first sampler.  I've since learned to make neater stitches,
and finish it off better.

I mastered that in about two weeks, and thought, "What the hell, might as well learn to crochet, as well:

The beginnings of a hat.  Probably for Anikah. :)

But, not all of my crochet turned out to be quite so nice, so I found I could make these cute little flowers:

This was an experiment that turned out better than I could have hoped.

And make them into adorable head bands for - you guessed it - Anikah!

Can't wait to see this on her tiny red head. :)

I may be a little excited about my craft room. . .

P.S. If you like these items, check out my Etsy store: Amara's Vardo

30 by 30 Update

1. Read thirty books off of the list of top 100 banned books. - Two down!  And getting ready to pick up "Brave New World" from the library
2. Make thirty crafts I have not tried before.  Bonus points if each serves a practical purpose. - Five down.
3. Choreograph a dance for my children's group.  All by myself. - Maybe this summer. . .
4. Take 30,000 pictures. (Considering I've taken well over 3,000 since I got my camera in May, this is not necessarily an impractical goal.) - 2,142 pictures taken.  I really need to get on this. . .
5. Cook or bake 30 dishes I have never made before. - So far, one.  Need to get on this, too.
6. Watch 30 classic movies I've never seen. - Two down, with three more sitting on the shelf waiting for me.  Just have to find time to watch them.  And not get distracted by HGTV. . .
7. Learn to knit or crochet. - I taught myself to knit!  Update on this is pending.
8. Take a dance lesson, or preferably, a dance class. - Not yet.  I am taking yoga, though?  Maybe that counts as really slow dancing?
9. Take Miles to a new museum/event/activity/experience at least once a month. - so far, so good
10. Simplify my life by getting rid of things I do not need. - I feel like this is going REALLY well.  I spent yesterday cleaning out our storage room, and ended up with 4 bags of trash, and a box bound for Goodwill.
11. Organize all of our household paperwork, and keep up on it. Um, yeah. . . Should probably do that. .  .
12. Start my own business.  Even if it's just selling a few craft items online from time to time. - Done!
13. Finish illustrating the children's book I wrote in college. - Not even started.
14. Open a savings account for Miles. - I have the money set aside. Trying to decide on the type of account.
15. Send birthday cards to everyone in my immediate circle of family/friends for at least one year. - I keep forgetting! Argh!
16. Take Dominic through obedience classes. Be a good pet owner to my cat, Nikko. - Definitely working on this.
17. Decide if/when I'm going to go back for my Master's degree, and what I'm going to study. - This seems so unimportant right now.  I may decide against any more formal education, other than a few classes here and there in the future. . .
18. Audition for a musical. - The opportunity hasn't arisen, yet.
19. Quit my Festival job and become a full-time stay-at-home mom. Find a better balance between work and mommyhood. - A plan to (hopefully) accomplish this is already in the works.
20. Compile my music collection into one place. - I have started, but wow, is it random and everwhere.
21. Get a digital copy of every important photograph I have, and store them in a safe place. - Again, started, but incomplete.
22. Finish my digital family tree. - Oh.  I had forgotten about this completely. . .
23. Exercise every single day for at least 30 days. - Started this morning!
24. Learn at least 30 new signs for use at Special Olympics. - Two down!
25. Learn to play at least ten new games. - Two down!
26. Become more involved in the financial planning of our household. - Yes.  Still need to become even more involved.
27. Set up our wills, and arrange for custody of Miles, should anything unfortunate happen. - Nope.  Haven't even thought about it.
28. Find a church where my family is comfortable, and become an active member. - Hopefully soon. :(
29. Participate in a flash mob. - DONE!
30. Contact at least ten of my teachers from elementary, middle, high school, and college, and tell them how they have influenced my life. - 3 of 10 contacted. :)

Panic

When I tell people I have PPA and panic attacks, I know what they envision.  They envision a hyperventilating woman hiding in a corner trying to breathe.  I know, because that's how I envision panic attacks.  And I've had my fair share of those.  But those are easy to deal with.  I recognize them immediately, talk myself through it, and take a Xanax if I need it.  After a little while, I feel loopy, but not panicked.  Problem solved.

Unfortunately, that's not always how my panic attacks happen.  Often, my panic is hidden behind a calm facade of just feeling (and acting) distant.  A fog rolls in and clouds my mind, making it difficult to focus on anything.  My brain immediately searches out any stimulus, and focuses on it to the point of shutting off everything else.  It is a coping mechanism I learned as a child - if something is worrying me, I simply ignore it and try to shove it out of my mind.

The problem is, as an adult, I often don't recognize that this is what I'm doing.  It happens so automatically that I don't realize it until I finally look up to see that several hours have passed without feeling 'present' at all.  I know it looks like laziness, or worse, like I don't want to spend time with my family.  But in reality, my brain has gone on autopilot and is fighting the panic in the only way it knows how - by avoiding it.  And when I 'wake up' to the world around me, I feel terrible for wasting all of that precious time with the ones I love most.

Crazy Busy Lovely Weekend

The in-laws visited, and spent all day Saturday with us.  It was so wonderful to have them here, and Miles really loved it, too.  He played with GrandMary on the kitchen floor. . .

 And proved himself to be an excellent host by making and offering popcorn for everyone.

And nearly broke GrandDad by making him be a horsie.

All in all, I couldn't ask for more. :)

Dear Miles,

I feel slightly terrible about not doing these letters more often.  The time is passing so very quickly, and I would love to capture it all in words and pictures.  But you and me?  We're just too darn busy for that!
You are so much fun right now.  You've always been fun, but now, you delight me in every way, multiple times a day.  I am impressed by your tenacity, your gentleness, and your energy.  So many contradictions in such a tiny body.  Though, not so tiny as you once were.  You are now three feet tall and weigh 26 pounds.  Looking at you and your fearlessness and coordination, it is hard to believe that just over two years ago you weighed less than a third of what you do now, and were so tiny that you fit snugly in the crook of my arm.  My helpless baby has become a strong, healthy, active little boy.
Every day, you look and act more and more grown up.  You love to sing your alphabet, and count, and help with everything.  You love making phone calls, and try to convince Mommy's phone to "Call Daddy".  You give hugs and kisses to everyone before we leave anywhere.  And even if we're just leaving the park, you make sure to say, "Bye, Park.  Bye, Play."
You love to ride on anything with wheels.  You love to wrestle with Potts, or just cuddle up on top of him while you watch Elmo.  You wear a bright red hard hat around the house, brandishing a sword at people and saying, "Puss" [in Boots].  You tickle people.  And laugh with them.  You dance to every single song you recognize, and many you don't.  You love to take walks, explaining to me everything you see along the way.  And you make my heart melt when you take hold of my hand to lead me off on another adventure.
I am so happy, and so blessed, to join in your adventures.  Thank you for being you.  You make me a better me.
Love you, so very much,
Mommy

Friday Photos!

"I cooohdddd" [I'm cold]

Enjoying the spring-like weather on Saturday.

Playing in the car on Sunday.

Blue eyes. Melt.

Short-sleeved shirts in January.  Ah, the joys of the midwest.*

Sweet, beautiful naptime.

*The following day, the high was 27 degrees.  Ah, the joys of the midwest.

Thinking Spot

One of the best things about our new home is that the windows facing the street are right at toddler level.  We actually gave Miles the master bedroom partially for this reason.*  He loves to stand at the window (especially in the living room, like he is here, where there are fewer distractions), and just stare.  He loves when the school bus drops off the kids in the afternoon - right across the street.  He waits on trash day for the garbage truck to come by.  He watches the people walking their dogs, the cars zooming past, and the kids riding bikes.

And all the while, he looks like he does in this picture.  Thoughtful.  Distant, yet aware.  I like to think of this as his own personal thinking spot.  A place where his little toddler mind can soak up the sights and sounds of our neighborhood.  A quiet, pleasant spot where his brain can process all of the myriad information that has inundated him throughout the day.

Occasionally, he will point things out to me, or tell me about what he sees. "Mom-mom! Dog!" or "Cooo Bus!". Most times, though, he simply stands there, leaning on the window, contemplating the world.

*The other reason was that all of his stuff wouldn't have fit in the other bedroom.