Silence is Golden

Except when you have a toddler.

First thing every morning, I sit in my chair, nursing a cup of coffee, and trying desperately to clear the cotton out of my head so I can function.  Many times, I'm trying to do this while Miles is awake.  Being the saintly child that he is, he usually just plays quietly.  When he's not so saintly, I resort to the television.  Because this mama?  Cannot function before coffee.

I'm not really certain when that started.  I used to be a morning person.  Really, I did.  I loved the morning.  Then, while I was pregnant, I redefined morning to mean anytime between 10 and noon.  Because I was exhausted.  Constantly.  Baby-building is a tiring process.  So, I started sleeping in.  A lot.  Then, Miles was born, and I learned to sleep when he slept (which was never, it seemed).  Morning became obsolete.  If I managed to get out of my pajamas before Patrick went to bed, I considered it a success.

Now, however, I have been blessed with this amazingly energetic toddler, who thinks that 7:00 am is sleeping in.  So, I started setting my alarm for 6:30, in an effort to down a cup of coffee before he woke up.  And then, Thursday, he woke up, screaming, two seconds after my alarm went off.  Somehow, waking up to screaming just makes my morning worse.  So, by 8:00 am, I was still slumped in my chair, slurping my second cup of coffee, and just trying to survive.  Miles was being saintly, and playing quietly.  Without the television.  I felt like a good mother.

Then, I realized he was too quiet.  Like, completely silent.  I peeked around, certain that the room would be destroyed.  Instead, I found Miles sitting very quietly.  I did a double take.  He was stark naked.  His diaper was lying in a heap about four feet away.  And he was industriously investigating the . . .toy he had discovered.

I couldn't help it.  I laughed.  A lot.  He looked up at me, startled.  Then, he grinned at my obvious delight and pointed as if to say, "Look, Mom!  Isn't it neat!"

I died.

Anyone know of a brand of diapers that closes with duct tape? :)