5 Months Old

Dear Miles,

I cannot fathom how you are five months old, already. How it has already been five months since I met you? Five months since I held you for the first time? Five months since my world changed forever?

As I type this, you are playing with your Daddy - quite possibly your favorite person. Though, in all honesty, it is hard to tell. Every time you see someone you recognize, you give them a smile that is only for them, a smile that says, "Yay! It's my favorite person in the whole world!" It's the smile that has won over everyone who has ever met you. You truly love everyone, and so, in return, everyone cannot help but love you. It is my greatest hope that you will retain this quality as you grow - that you will always show love to those around you.

This month has been a hard one for your mommy. You stopped sleeping through the night. You started solid foods. You began crying out of boredom, something you've never done before. You had your first cold. You are showing all of the signs of teething, but no teeth have actually appeared. Yes, as much as I hate to admit it, this month has been difficult for me. I'm not sure you have even noticed, though. You have been too busy learning new tricks, whizzing through milestones, watching everything, trying to take it all in. You are becoming more and more aware by the day, and more and more sure of your movements. You are beginning to understand that there is a way you may be able to move all on your own, soon, and you get so frustrated sometimes that it is so difficult to figure out. You are learning to sit up by yourself, though you still lose your balance from time to time. In short, new things are coming at a rapid pace, and Mommy is having a hard time keeping up!

Mostly, though, Mommy is baffled by your growth. Wasn't it only yesterday that you were sleeping twenty hours a day? Only a few days ago that you learned to smile? Only last week that you were born? The time has passed so quickly, and though I am excited that you are growing and learning, and interacting, I am a little afraid of how quickly these months have passed. If these past five months have flown so fast, what of the next five? Before I know it, you will be a year old. Then two. Then five. Ten. Sixteen. Grown.

And that thought makes me want to cry. But instead, I hold you close, enjoy your smiles, celebrate your milestones, breathe in the wonder of you while I can. Because as scary as it is, I am glad you are growing and learning. I am glad that you are developing as you should, even if it seems to come rapidly. Because that means that you are healthy, and there is nothing more I could ask for you.

I hope you someday can fathom how much I love you. It is truly beyond words, though I hope you feel it everyday of your life.

With all my love,

Mommy

Shakespeare Night

If you haven't noticed, I never post on Thursdays.

Mainly, that's because I spend the daytime hours scrubbing my house from top to bottom, trying in earnest to make it presentable.

Because Thursday nights, my living room fills with my favorite people. Ostensibly, we get together to read Shakespeare. And that's how it started. We were doing really well, actually. And then, last week, we got to talking, and by 10:00, we were like "Hamlet? Oh, yeah. Oops." Last night was almost a repeat performance, but we watched about an hour of the movie, so it counts, right?

Regardless of what we do, it is possibly my favorite night of the week. I look forward to it, counting the days, until I am surrounded by people with whom I can discuss all matter of crazy things. And I don't have to be politic about it (which is really hard for me, anyway). We all say what we want, without fear. Do we always agree? Absolutely not. But we don't have to. Because in the end, we all love one another, regardless. And for that, I am incredibly blessed.

Oh, and Miles is cute. Yay! (I had to at least mention him, right?) :)

I have only one thing to say today

Stacey, you rock. Thank you for coming to my rescue yesterday. You have no idea how awesome it was to have a little help.

Oh, and Miles appears to be on the upswing!

One of those days

I have to start by acknowledging that I am incredibly lucky that I have very few days like this.

That doesn't make it any easier.

We are on day 6 of the Plague, and it has definitely been one of those days. Miles did ok last night, but was still up 3 times before he finally woke up at 8:15. And he woke up with a vengeance. Usually, he wakes up cooing, and will play in his crib for a few minutes while I brush my teeth and prep his bottles, and generally prepare for the day. Not today. Today, he woke up whining, ready to eat immediately. And then took half an hour to eat 2 ounces. He whined and clung to me for almost an hour before finally deciding he was still tired and passing out. When I tried to put him down, he woke up, and I could see him preparing to scream. So, I laid down on the bed with him, and we napped. Which was glorious, I admit. Until he woke me up by screaming that he was starving. Since, you know, he hadn't eaten earlier.

It took me almost an hour to calm him down enough to actually eat. And once I had accomplished this feat, the phone rang. It was important, so I took the call. The lady took forever to tell me what she needed, even though I repeatedly asked her to get to the point, as I had a screaming baby in the background. By the time she finally told me what she needed, and I hung up, Miles was inconsolable again. It took another 45 minutes of bouncing and walking and shushing to get him calm enough to eat, and he sucked down the entire bottle in a matter of minutes.

For fifteen beautiful minutes, Miles played happily on the couch. Until he puked all over himself. When I took him to change him, I discovered he had a dirty diaper that had overflowed to the point that we both needed baths in the end.

So, now, he's taking a little siesta in his swing in the bathroom, and I am sitting here exhausted and ready for bed, even though it's only 2:3o. And I still have work to do. And a house to clean.

And a baby who will be waking up screaming any minute, I'm sure.

The Snot-Monster Strikes Again

Miles is still a coughing, snotty boy, but now he's added whiny-ness to his repertoire. He wants to cuddle, but still play by himself. He wants to eat, but only on his terms. He's always tired (trying to sleep off this bug, I guess), but he fights sleep. In short, nothing is making him happy. And it's driving me bonkers.

And, to top it off, Patrick and I have managed to contract this lovely little plague as well. Our house is not the most fun place to be right now. Ugh.

I know it will get better soon, and that it's really not a big deal. But I miss my happy, smiling, content little boy, and I want him back!

Besides, I'm really tired of being covered in snot every time he snuggles in. Ewww!*

*Ahh, the joys of motherhood. :)

Girls' Night Out, Guys' Night In

Last night was my first Girls' Night Out since November. Four of my favorite girls* and I went to a semi-fancy Italian restaurant, with the most amazing food! We arrived at 6:15, and talked until they closed at 10:00. :)

Then, we went to a place called Skies, a restaurant that sits on top of the Hyatt downtown. The atmosphere is very mellow and comfortable. Lights are low, and indirect, seating is comfortable armchairs and sofas around coffee tables. A jazz pianist tinkles the keys. But the focus is the view from the floor to ceiling windows: the city skyline in all its glory. Oh, and just for giggles, the entire restaurant slowly rotates. If you sit there for an hour and a half, you will be shown an entire 360 degree view of the city, from its center. It is gorgeous. We ordered coffees and desserts and talked for another two hours, before realizing that our friend Wendy** was staying in the hotel so her daughter could go to the anime convention downstairs. So, we stopped by her room and talked for awhile longer. Eventually, we decided that we had better go home while we were still awake enough to drive. :)

Meanwhile, Miles was experiencing his first Guy's Night here at home. Patrick had Shelby, Kirby, and Joseph over, and they cooked, and played cards, and generally, just hung out being guys, as far as I can tell. In any case, fun was had by all involved, and we are looking anxiously forward to our next opportunity to do it all again! :)

P.S. To Stacey, Bethany, Becky and Portia: thank you so much for helping me to feel like a person again, instead of just "Mommy". I have never been so blessed as to have such a warm, supportive group of female friends in my life. You are all amazing. Much love.

*Four of the most amazing women I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.

**Number five in my list of Most Amazing Women Ever.

Cold Update

The bad news: Miles is having a hard time sleeping and eating because of his stuffy nose, and his cough has become more . . . juicy.

The good news: The doctor has confirmed that it is Just a Cold, so we just have to ride it out, and everything should be fine.