Amazing

Do you ever have a moment where you are utterly in awe of the people around you?

I had a moment like that recently.

In my job with the Festival, I work with over 200 performers a year.  Needless to say, there's no way I can form close, personal relationships with every single one of them.  Nevertheless, they all tend to be very sweet, wonderful people.*

Anyway, there is another stay-at-home mom who performs for us.  She and I have always performed in different groups, and have never really gotten to know one another, beyond the basics.

The other day, we were making arrangements for her to bring me some things I needed for work.  In the course of the conversation, she offered to watch Miles for me once in awhile during the day, so I could run errands, or just have a break.

I am so blessed to work with such amazing, giving people.  I cannot believe the incredible selflessness of her offer.  I hope that this season sees the beginnings of a new friendship with this wonderful lady. :)

*For the most part.  As in any job, I occasionally meet people I'd like to drop-kick . . . :)

Litany of Cuteness

I don't do these often enough, considering all of the cute things that Miles does every.single.day.  So, here is a list of some of the latest stuff.  Enjoy!

• When he rides his rocking horse, he shouts "Rock! Rock!" the entire time, and rocks so hard I'm afraid the horse is going to do a somersault. 
• He loves to cuddle with the dog.  And by 'cuddle with', I mean 'lay on'.  The dog gets him back by tickling Miles' feet via licking.  Uncontrolled giggles follow.
• Throws toys and yells "Csh!" [Crash!] when they hit the floor.  Funny when it's a ball.  Not so funny when it's Mommy's cell phone. . .
• He is thisclose to being able to put his pants on all by himself.  He still gets them twisted when he puts them over his legs, and he always forgets to pull up the back, so his butt is always hanging out.  Other than that, though, he's got it down.
• He runs to the window, yelling "Truck! Truck!" every time the garbage truck or a delivery truck drives by.  Pulling him away from the window before the truck is out of sight is absolutely impossible.
• He pats his leg, and makes kissy noises to call Dominic.  If the dog doesn't come right away, Miles says, "Doggy!" in a really growly voice.  It cracks me up.
• Miles loves to get treats (chews, really) for Dominic.  I open the cabinet, and Miles reaches in and selects two treats, which he then happily gives to the dog.  
• He calls anything sweet a "cook!" [cookie].  Even fruit. :)
• When we watch television in the morning, he loves to lounge against me.  I drink my coffee, and he sips on his milk.  It's a nice, low-key way to start our day.
• He climbs all over our bed while I get dressed in the morning, usually jumping up, and tossing himself into the pillows, yelling "csh!" the whole time.
• Alternately, he will lay down on the bed, pull the covers up to his chin and take a few deep breaths through his nose, pretending to sleep.
• When he sees me putting on deodorant, he points to it, signs please, and then raises his arms.  I tickle his armpits with it, after I've put the lid on.
• If you ask him if he's stinky, he'll sniff really loudly.  If he really is stinky, he'll follow that up with "yesh".
• He now says "maa-maw", when he wants to talk to grandma, and "g'paw" for grandpa.  It's pretty stinkin' cute.
• When you ask for a hug, Miles will curl up on your chest and cuddle in.  Melt.

Bad Mommy Mondays

At this point, making a list of all of the things I've been judged for recently is a bit counter-productive.  I will re-start Bad Mommy Mondays when I have gotten my anxiety under control.

Thanks for understanding.

Notes to Self

1) Take your damned pills.  Every.single.night.  Failure to do so will result in multiple, uncontrollable panic attacks at extremely inconvenient times.  Like in the middle of a photo session with your son.  Not fun.

2) If you've forgotten your pills, and have barely recovered from your last, physically painful panic attack, going to a crowded buffet for dinner is a bad idea.  Seriously.  Don't do it.

3) Going to the craft store in the last couple of hours before they close, however, is a good idea.  The smell reminds you of happy things, and helps calm you down.  Also, the prospect of craft projects gives your mind something to focus on.  And so long as everything is on sale, you can even justify a smidge of retail therapy.  Which also helps.

4) Your husband deserves a medal for dealing with all of this, fielding Miles the entire time, and still being in a happy, upbeat mood.  Definitely a medal.  Or a cake.  He may prefer a cake.

Battles & Blessings

Battles:

• Still dealing with the panic attacks, though they're less frequent.  They still suck.
• Not enough sleep all week.  My own fault, certainly, but still makes life interesting.
• Two days of work this week.  Miles is not finding it interesting in the least.  Unless, of course, he's wreaking havoc across the office.  Still seeking solutions.
• Keeping the house clean.  Somehow, I just cannot seem to manage this.  Grrrr.
• Staying one step ahead of Miles.  Getting more and more difficult.
• In relation to that last one, we lost a ton of audition appointments when Miles found a way to climb onto the table, open my laptop, and delete things at random.  
• Being nice to people who piss me off.  This is always a battle for me.  I just want to punch them. :(

Blessings:

• Modern medicine.  Panic attacks are fewer and further between.  And starting to become manageable.
• An awesome boss, who is very understanding when I have to split my focus between work and child-wrangling.  Also, he loves Miles.  Bonus. :)
• A relatively low-key week, even with everything that is going on.
• Aunt Ninell, who baby-sat last night to make our lives a little easier.
• All of the amazing support I have received from everyone, particularly in response to my PPA diagnosis, but also, just in general.  I have the best support system ever. :)
• My amazing and wonderful son, who keeps me laughing, even when I'm having a bad day.
• My wonderful husband, who is always there to give me exactly what I need.

The End of Friday Photos

I just don't have enough cute pictures to do this every week.  I'll post pictures when I have a chance, but it won't be on Fridays anymore.*




*April Fool's. :D

Friday Photos!

Lining up toys on the bathtub rim: the newest toddler pastime. :)

A rare pensive pose.

Coloring at the library.

Playing in his drawer in the kitchen. :)