Two.

Some days, having two small children is overwhelming.

Scratch that.

Most days.  Everyday, to some degree.

I had just started getting used to sleeping through the night again, and now we're back to an infant who wakes at least 2-3 times a night.

I'd forgotten how expensive formula and diapers are.  And how quickly infant clothes are outgrown.

Getting out the door takes four times longer with two children than it did with one.  I'm still not clear on how that math works.

I spend a lot of my day listening to one child cry while I help the other one with basic care.  Miles needs food?  Time for Sam to start screaming.  Sam needs to eat?  Time for Miles to have a meltdown because his banana broke.  I am exhausted, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Every.day.

And then, my children do something awesome to remind me why they're worth it all.

Like when they hold hands in the car.  Every.single.time we get in it.

Or when they wrestle on the floor and laugh so hard that you can't help but laugh with them.

Or when they cuddle down for nap together.

Or when Miles admonishes Samantha: "No, Sam! That's not safe! You scared me!"

Or when Samantha takes four or five wobbling steps trying to chase after Miles.

Or when he doesn't see her and starts crying, asking, "Where my Samantha go?"

Or when she does see him and gives him a special smile that's just for him.

Having two is tough.  Tougher than I ever would have thought.  I will not lie - I have on occasion wondered what the hell we were thinking adding another child to the mix.  And then I realize.

Our family was incomplete without Samantha.

Yes, things are harder, now.  But, they're also so much better.