Tuesday, July 24, 2012


A couple of weeks ago, we tried to buy a kiddie pool from Wal-Mart.  Since, you know, it's been about a million degrees out pretty regularly lately.  Unfortunately, Wal-Mart (along with every other store, apparently) has decided that the weather and the calendar be damned, it's time for fall and school supplies.  There was not a single kiddie pool in the entire store, and most of their summery toys were either gone or on clearance.  By sheer luck, we managed to score a sprinkler for Miles to run through, but some days, that just doesn't cut it.  

Our solution:

Plastic tubs filled with water.  On the front porch.  Because we are classy like that. :)

Friday, July 20, 2012

Potty Training has taught me. . .

If you are easily disgusted by discussions of bodily functions, you may want to skip this post. . .
  • My carpet is approximately the same color as pee in a poorly lit room.
  • Never walk barefoot near the train table while potty training.  Especially if you left the tyke alone for more than 2.5 seconds.
  • Apple juice is exactly the same color as pee.
  • Nudity is always an option for a two-year-old.
  • My son is a con-artist who can and will trick me into thinking he's emptied his bladder completely in exchange for candy.
  • I am gullible enough to fall for his con up to three times in a row. . .
  • My toddler has excellent bladder control.
  • Toddlers can refuse to go number two for three days.  So far.
  • He can totally speak clearly and enunciate when he wants to.
  • Toddler underwear are about the cutest things ever.  I still haven't stopped squee-ing.
  • Mommy doesn't get candy for using the toilet.
  • Our bathroom sink is ridiculously high for a toddler.
  • There is nothing so annoying as repeating the same five words for three days straight. "Pee-pee goes in the potty!"

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Potty Training

Oh, come on.  You knew it had to happen eventually. :)

Yesterday, I started potty training Miles.  I was following this great program/method called Three-Day Potty Training.  The theory was that you would help the child recognize when they needed to go, and within three days, they'd be completely trained.  It sounded like music to my ears.

This is what most of yesterday looked like.
Unfortunately, poor Miles has some major performance anxiety when it comes to peeing on the toilet.  He would make that face, and squeeze his little legs together, and we'd run to the bathroom and . . . nothing.  Not a single drop.  The kid couldn't force it out.  In the 14ish hours we spent running to the bathroom, sitting on the toilet, and trying to calm him, he managed to sprinkle a few drops in the toilet twice.  He was getting frustrated, to say the least.  And I wasn't much better.

So, this morning, I threw out the program/method and went back to what felt right for my kid.  I threw down towels in the living room, set his potty seat in front of the television, turned on Thomas the Train, and stripped the kid naked.  Within minutes, Miles had peed in the potty - rather a lot.  We emptied the potty into the toilet, flushed, and celebrated with a sucker and a call to Daddy to brag.  An hour or so later, we were playing in the living room, and I saw him clench his legs and run for the potty chair.  Another success.  Another lollipop.

What today looks like. :)
At this point, we are over three hours into my method (or lack thereof).  Zero accidents.  Two big successes.  And no anxiety or stress for either of us.  Sure, he may not be completely trained and in underwear in three days, but in the end, I'd rather take my time with a pleasant experience.  And this way, I won't be completely bummed when he has an accident on day 5 or 10.  It will just be part of the process.

I should market this as the "Nudity Method".  I'll make a fortune. . . In the meantime, I'll be here, watching too much television, and celebrating my son peeing in the living room. :)

Update: 5:45pm - Still naked, still no accidents.  Not even during naptime, when he slept in the buff. :)

Also, I have no idea why this post looks so weird.  Nothing I do seems to fix it. . . 

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Friday, July 13, 2012

My Week

In case you're wondering why I haven't been around.

Miles is sick.  Double ear infection.  His first antibiotic caused bad diarrhea, which caused a ridiculous diaper rash.  So, we got to figure out a new antibiotic for him yesterday.

Our car died at the doctor's office on Monday.  Alternator had gone out.  In the process of fixing that, Patrick discovered that we needed a new radiator, too.  And then the battery died, too.  By yesterday, I was finally able to run errands that had been pending all week.

Patrick is now sick.  And since he took most of the week off work to fix the car, he's working sick, which always sucks.

My house is now a complete disaster because of all of the above.

Oh, and I got reamed on my mommy board on Wednesday over asking a question that was apparently politically incorrect to even ask.  Not a huge deal, in the great scheme of things, but it wasn't very nice, nonetheless.

Sigh. . .

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

The Negotiator

Anyone with a toddler-almost-preschooler can tell you that with greater communication comes greater bargaining skills.  Conversations in our house look more and more like this:

Miles: Drink, pease?
Me: Sure. Do you want milk or water?
Miles: Hmmm. Juice or mook? Juice!
Me: Juice wasn't an option.  Do you want milk or water?
Miles: Juice!
Me: Milk or water?
Miles: Mook.
Me: Here's your milk.
Miles: Straw, pease?
Me: Fine.  Milk with a straw. . .

Suddenly, everything is a discussion.  You have to wear pants. I wear shorts?  Time for bed. Five minutes?  It makes my head spin.  And this is just the beginning! :)

Monday, July 9, 2012

Litany of Cuteness

Because there can never be too many of these. :)
  • Miles has started to include Nikko, our cat, in his nightly round of hugs and kisses goodnight.  Last night, he kept trying to kiss her face.  When he finally succeeded, he grinned and said, "Thank you, Kitty!"
  • Pretend Play has begun in our house.  I love listening to him give voices to his knights and having them ask each other, "You okay?" "Yeah, I fine. You okay?" when they fall off their horses.
  • While watching his first fireworks show last week, he kept yelling, "Moom! Moom!" after each explosion.
  • He's full of random trivia to share, such as: "Horsies.  Horsies wear socks.  Horsies wear socks to ride the bus."  Um . . .good to know. . .?
  • Even though he's not feeling well, he keeps asking us "You okay, Mommy?"  "You okay, Daddy?"  It's sweet to see the empathy for others emerging already. :)
  • He's beginning to tell us stories of his days at dinner time.  They usually are a list of words that are relevant, with no connecting words, so it ends up sounding something like this: "Aunty Nino, Angel-bird, Shrek and Donkey, Cars fly! Rocket ships. Issy-bissy spider. San-wish. Juice. Horsie fight with sword."  It's pretty funny to listen to. :)

Saturday, July 7, 2012

My Fairy Tale

It was last month when a friend posted on Facebook, "Fairy tales are full of it."

I couldn't keep silent.  I am living, breathing proof that fairy tales do happen.  I live in one.  I married my soul mate.  We have the most awesome son.  Friends who have become family, and family I truly want to be friends with.  I am the Cinderella who grew up in poverty (and as a kid, I felt like my parents were evil and the chores were unreasonable) and was transported into a life of comfort with my handsome prince.

Were there dragons?  Of a metaphorical sense, yes.  There were parents who didn't approve.  Distance that nearly tore us asunder.  PPD that made me the dragon, tearing into those I love best. There was the day-to-day cooking-cleaning-morning breath-irritate the shit out of each other-messy life.  And really?  That has been the biggest dragon.

And yet?  All of my dreams have come true.  I have everything I ever dreamed of, and it's better.  Because it's real, and it's mine.

So, to my handsome prince, I love you.  Five years of marriage.  13 years of togetherness, fighting the dragons of our world like the heroes of fable.  Thank you for my fairy tale.  I love you.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Friday Photots!

Reading about the Space Shuttle - his newest obsession.

Riding the 'Bucket Truck!'
I should let him do the grocery shopping!

Wherever we go, whatever we do, there are always trains. . .

Watching the ball slide down the ramp. Love the studied look. :)

Playing in the water.

Love.this.kid. :)

Monday, July 2, 2012


(v) 1. to hit the head of; 2. Miles' favorite new entertainment

Seriously, over the course of the weekend, this kid managed to hit his head about five times.

  1. Playing on the bed with Daddy.  Launched himself backward into the wall.
  2. Playing on the bed with Daddy.  Launched himself off the bed and into the wall.
  3. Running around the living room.  Slipped and hit the table with his head.
  4. Dove into a pile of stuffed animals and found the sharp corner of the book crate next to it. 
Sigh.  The joys of mothering a boy. . .

Oh, and he's fine, though he has some impressive bruising.