Mmmm. Home.

We are mostly moved in, though we still have a few loads of random stuff left to transfer.  Then there's all of the cleaning and unpacking and settling in.

But for now, we are home.  And we love it.

Battles & Blessings

Battles:

• Stress.  So much that I was losing sleep.
• Bad timing.  Two parties and moving in one week.  Way. Too. Much.
• Stressed Mommy = Stressed Toddler.
• Stressed Toddler = Tantrums
• Tantrums = Stressed Mommy
• Repeat.

Blessings:

• Moving.  We have moved into a place that is so much better for our needs.  More space.  Less crowding.  Open, and unique, floor plan.  Garage.  Larger bedrooms.  Craft room.  Two showers.
• Warm kitty cuddles on a cool night.
• Re-connecting with Festival friends I haven't seen in a month and a half.
• Friends who help us move.  That's how you know they're true friends. :)
• Dinner and laughter with friends.  I adore feeding people. 
• A supportive husband, an ornery-but-adorably-affectionate two-year-old, and a roommate who puts up with the crazy that is this family.  My life would be incomplete without these three people.

Today is Moving Day!

I expect to:

• Carry lots of heavy things, most likely injuring myself in the process.  I always seem to.
• Feed lots of people who help carry heavy things.
• Gripe about the amount of junk we have managed to acquire in a year.
• Re-arrange each room at least twice.
• Begin cursing the odd layout that I love so much about our new place.
• Sigh heavily.  And often.

On the bright side, I do not expect to:

• Carry the heaviest things.  People usually push me away from those, on account of me hurting myself.
• Spend a whole light of time cooking.  Crock pots and frozen dinners are my friends.
• Keep much of the junk.
• Have to re-arrange each room more than twice.
• Hate the layout after the major moving is done.
• Finish everything in a day.  We have two weeks to deal with the rest. :)

Mornings

As much I adore my job and live for the moments when I fix a problem for a performer, or hear an audience applauding a show I have helped direct, I am loving my vacation.  And the thing is, I'm even loving the mornings.*

Miles wakes late - around 8:30 most mornings - and then plays quietly in his room for up to half an hour.  Eventually, I hear "Mom-mom? Come."  And that's my cue to join him.  We play for a few minutes, then get dressed, brush teeth and so on, and then head downstairs for breakfast.

That's when my favorite part happens.

I get my coffee, and Miles gets his milk and breakfast, and we cuddle in the recliner together and watch Sesame Street.  We talk about the letters and numbers.  He exclaims every time he sees "Emm-oh!" [Elmo]  I giggle with him at the celebrities acting so silly.  And we spend an hour quietly learning and enjoying together.

And it is blissful.

*Well, once I can drag my behind out of bed.

Friday Photos!

Talking with his cousin, J, who you
can read all about here.

Giving hugs. :)

Fixing J's hat.

Rockin' the pacifier.  Still.

Hanging with his cousin Jaxon at Thanksgiving.

Playing with letters at the library.

Just. . . Breathe. . .

I have to keep saying this to myself this week.  See, we sign the papers on our new duplex tomorrow.  Yep.  Ten days before Christmas, and I'm going to be rushing from signing the lease to get to the office Christmas party on time.  I have laundry that needs folding, a kitchen that feels like a disaster (though I'm certain I've spent most of my week cleaning it), and so very much that still needs to be packed.

I've been unable to sleep all week.  I lay down at night, and my mind begins to race with the list of things I need to accomplish tomorrow, and the longer list of things I failed to accomplish today.  When I finally drift off, I spend the entire night locked in a dream where I am trapped somewhere (it's somewhere different every night) and have to spend my dreaming hours trying to figure out how to escape.  I wake exhausted from the effort, and start my day more sleepy than when I went to bed.

Last night, it all began again.  The racing thoughts.  The feeling of being trapped.  The near-panic of trying to do everything.  The stress of moving.  It all came rushing in the moment I laid my head down.

And that's when I gave in.  I took a deep breath, centered myself, and began talking to God.  See, I have this impossible urge to try and deal with everything myself.  And it never works.  I have to admit that I can't do it alone.  So, laying there, in the dark, breathing deeply, I told God everything.  And I asked for help.

For the first night in a week, I slept like a baby.  A dream began with Miles being taken from me - the catalyst for several of my 'trapped' dreams.  But I wouldn't allow myself to be trapped this time.  Instead, I walked straight up to the man who had taken him, sized him up, and knocked him flat with one blow to the face.  I picked up Miles and cuddled him, and slept peacefully for the rest of the night.

I will get through this week.  Even if I have to punch it in the face.

She'endre

I have an . . . interesting history of female friends.  Starting in elementary school, with a controlling best friend who would go on to scorn me later for being too nerdy.  In middle school, I had two 'friends' who treated me like absolute trash, but hey, at least they'd talk to me.  High school helped me find a few nerdy, quirky girls who I became very close with, and college introduced me to a few more.  Still, when I got married, my bridesmaids were my sister, a friend I'd known most of my life, one of the few rare girlfriends from college, and my best guy-friend.  Girl friends were somewhat hard to come by, in my world.

And then I started Festival, and met some of the most amazing women in the world.  I can now name a great number of girlfriends that I can call on at any time, for any reason, that I know will always be there for me.

Of these friends, a few are special.  They are my She'endre - my sisters-by-choice.*  These are women who are more family than friends.  Women who will always catch me when I fall, support me in my endeavors, and tell me honestly when I'm wrong.  Women who will laugh with me, cry with me, hug me, applaud me, and pray with me.  Of all of my many blessings, I count my She'endre high on the list.

So, to each of my She'endre (you know who you are): I love you.  Thank you for showing me what it's like to have true female friends.  You all rock.

*She'endre is a Lowara Romani word, and its literal translation really is "sister(s) by choice".  I stumbled upon it by accident while researching my Romani character for the Festival.