Saturday, August 3, 2013

Thirty Years

One week from today, I will officially be 30 years old.

Thirty.

Three.Zero.

It sounds like I'm freaked out by it, and I guess I am, a little.  I didn't think 30 would get here so quickly.  30 seemed so far off, even a couple of years ago.  I'm mostly freaked by the fact that time has flown so quickly.

As for the actual number?  I'm actually kinda happy with it.

I am (almost) 30.  That means I'm officially an adult.  No one can discount my thoughts or opinions just because I'm a "kid" anymore.  30 is like this magic number that everyone actually recognizes as 'adulthood'.  It's nice, especially for someone like me.  My mother always said I was "born 30 years old" - others told me I have an "old soul".  Now, finally, I feel like I've grown into that, and like - finally - my same-age peers are on the same page.

No longer am I the "stick-in-the-mud" if I don't want to have a water-gun fight.  No longer am I "putting on airs" when I use big words.  No longer do people try to force me to try something I don't like or don't want to try.  I have finally reached an age where people accept what I am.

Overall, though, I just feel good about my age.  I've finally settled into my skin.  I'm comfortable with myself and who I am (for the most part).  Long gone are the years of trying to decide if I should try to fit in, the years of trying to decide exactly who I am.  I am me.  I have my faults, sure, but I've started to figure out what mine are, and what to do about them.  I can finally look myself in the mirror, see the dark circles under my eyes and the mussy hair and smile, because they belong to me.  I am a person who is loved, by my husband, my children, my family, my friends, my God - and finally, I have learned to love myself.

So, I say, "Welcome, Thirty.  I've been waiting for you."

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