There is nothing like the feeling of your newborn's teeny hand wrapped tightly around your finger. Many parents cite this as the first moment they bonded with their infant. A simple grab, and our hearts are stolen. Most of us know it to be a newborn reflex, nothing more. And yet, it is a moment of connection many of us remember vividly.
I remember when Miles was a newborn, how elated I was each time that reflex caused his tiny hand to curl around my finger. I remember the feeling of connection, and the bond I was forming with this amazing little stranger. And yet, somewhere in the deepest parts of my thoughts, something kept forcing me to remember that it was just a reflex. Nothing more.
I was reflecting on this tonight, as I lay next to Miles' bed, stroking his hair, trying to help him wind down from his exciting day. I paused a moment, and laid my hand next to him, simply breathing in his presence. And in that moment, he reached out and wrapped his little hand around my finger. Not out of reflex, but intentionally. And as I once more felt the elation of a child who wins my heart with every moment like this, his sleepy toddler voice said, "I luzoo, Momma."
I luzoo, too, Miles. I luzoo, too.