It's no big secret that I started therapy a couple of weeks ago. My PPD/PPA was getting out of hand again, and while the medication helps, it isn't enough. I needed someone to talk to. Someone with professional, therapeutic input.
So, I called my OB's office and asked for a referral. I got a call an hour later with three names. I called the first one on the list, and scheduled an appointment for the same day. I immediately felt comfortable with her, and knowing that our conversations a) affected her in no way at all and b) are completely confidential, allowed me to open up to her and admit things I hadn't even admitted to myself. I have had three one-hour sessions with her, and already, we have talked about my insecurities, my fears, my needs, my wants, my self-judgement, my certainty that others judge me, my worries, my hopes, my disappointments, my dreams. Each week, I leave her office, I feel lighter, more confident, and calmer. I know this could (and probably will) be a long road. But it is a journey that I am willing and happy to make.
I tell you all this because I was afraid of therapy. Afraid that it would mean I really am 'crazy'. That people and society would judge me, or label me, or simply pity me. I had to get past all of that to get to where I am. But it has been worth it.
If you are struggling, or just need someone to talk to, please, please tell someone. You are not weak. You are not crazy. You are not pitiable. You are human. Please, be okay with that, and come to terms with it. Because without that, your struggles may continue indefinitely. And no one deserves that.
Hello, my name is Tabitha and I am in therapy for post-partum depression and anxiety.