This week, however, I am going to focus a bit on reasons I have felt like a Bad Mommy. Yes, I realize that I'm not, but I feel like one sometimes. I think every mommy does. Sorry, but this probably won't be funny.
- I love and adore my child all the time, more than I could ever say. There are days, however, that I just can't handle him, and want to be away from him. It's practical, but I don't like that I feel it. Plus, leaving him is the leading cause of panic attacks.
- I do not spend hours every day playing with my son. As much as I love playing and interacting with him, he doesn't need my undivided attention all day, and I run out of things to do with him.
- I cannot stand to listen to him scream. It is one of the biggest triggers for my panic attacks. So, I respond in one of two ways: I either give in to whatever he wants so it will stop, or I stick my fingers in my ears in an effort to block it out, while Patrick deals with it. I am getting better in this arena, but it's still a struggle not to just give him whatever he wants.
- I'm not particular about what I feed my kid. As long as he eats it, and it doesn't make him sick, I usually let him have it. I feel like I should be more concerned about his eating habits.
- I am overwhelmed by Miles. Even with almost 20 months of practice, and with the help of family, friends, and medication, I am utterly overwhelmed by my child most days.