House Rules

I have been told, on occasion, that we have some very unusual rules at our house.  I'll let you be the judge.  Here are some of the basics:

1. We only kick the penguin or the ball.
2. No sword-fighting an unarmed opponent.
3. Don't climb the television.
4. You may play with the telephone, but don't call anyone.
5. The roof of the playhouse is not for climbing on.
6. Only drop soft things over the balcony.
7. You are more than welcome to run to your room and slam the door when you're angry.  Just remember that you will have to ask someone to come open it for you since you can't work the doorknob yet.
8. Leave the diaper on your butt.  It does no good when you wear it around your knees.
9. If you want to play catch, you have to warn the other person first.
10. Between the hours of 11:00 and 11:30 am, the television will remain off, since you seem to have an uncanny knack for finding Barney and that horrid purple dinosaur is not allowed in my house.