Four Months Old!

Four months. Wow, how the time has flown.

As I look back over the life of the precious boy sleeping next to me, I realize that I can no longer remember a time when he wasn't around. I will remember something from a year ago, and realize that Miles wasn't there, and for just a second, I will wonder who I left him with - did Stacey come and baby-sit? Then, I realize: he wasn't here, yet. It seems impossible that this little person didn't exist before September.

I still clearly remember the moment of his birth. I remember the indescribable joy of meeting him for the first time. But surely, that couldn't have been only four months ago? And yet, it couldn't have been four months ago already?

We live in a state that Patrick refers to as "the eternal now". We cannot fathom a time when things were other than they are, nor a time when they will be other than they are. Sure, we remember a time when Miles didn't smile, laugh, coo, try to sit on his own, but that has been ages ago. Surely, that cannot have been only four months ago? Yes, of course there was a time when Miles didn't wake me in the morning with that heart-breaking smile that says, "Good morning, Mommy! I'm so happy to see you!!!" And yet, I can hardly remember it. And if I were entirely honest, I don't want to.

Because meeting Miles, becoming his Mommy, has introduced me to a kind of love I didn't know existed. A love that is as deep as any other I've ever known, but is equal parts affection, joy, and protection. A love that was instant, and is eternal. A love that fills me every time I think of his little bald head,* his bright blue eyes, his tiny fingers and toes. His dimple. It is impossible that this perfect little person was not part of our lives, a mere four months ago.

And I realize that, somehow, Miles has always been a part of our lives. We just didn't know it, yet.

*He's not bald - his hair is just really short, and really blonde! :)

Self-Indulgence

I know you only came here to read about Miles, but since it's my blog, I'm going to write about me for a change. :)

So far, this trying to do it all is working, but I'm exhausted. When I work, I divide my time between trying to finish twice as much in half the time and taking care of Miles. So far, our workload has been kinda light, but I'm not sure how long that will last. When I'm at home, I am juggling Miles, cleaning the house, helping out Patrick, and trying to carve out a bit of "me" time. I've also taken on a theater project, which is incredibly exciting, but a little daunting, as well. Especially once our Festival season gets up and running. To be perfectly honest, there are days when I feel totally overwhelmed.

Today is not one of those days. Today, I feel capable of taking over the world, of having it all. Today, I think I may just be able to pull off this whole Mommy-on-the-go thing.

Which is good, since there's no turning back now! :)

And the most surprising thing of all: I LOVE my life right now. Even when I feel overwhelmed, I cannot imagine being happier than I am at this moment. I have a comfortable home, a job I adore, friends who are always there for me, a husband who is loving and supportive beyond measure, a son whose smile takes my breath away.

. . . a son who is waking up. Time to go and drink him in while he's awake. :)

Mommy's Little Helper

Day 2 of work this week. Re-arranged my office so we could put the playpen in it. Miles slept and played, and generally distracted everyone with his cuteness.

Then, we went to Dance Class. He slept and played, and generally distracted everyone with his cuteness.

Noticing a pattern?

I've noticed that Miles is much happier overall and is less fussy when we are out and about. Perhaps he is bored by staying home?

Anyway, Mommy worked all day and then danced and is now exhausted. That is all. :)

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off to Work We Go . . .

Yeah, no posts this weekend - it was just too busy! :)

Exciting news: Miles rolled from his back to his tummy yesterday!!! I think he did it on accident, honestly. He was playing on the floor at the office yesterday, rolling up onto his side, then back onto his back. Back and forth. One time, he just rolled all the way over. He landed on his tummy, gave a short, angry cry of indignation, then flipped himself back over. Had I not happened to look over at just the right time, I would have missed it altogether. I'm just waiting for him to discover that he could possibly get around by rolling over and over.

At this rate, he'll be walking before Memorial Day. ;)

As you might have noticed, we went to work yesterday. Krista and Jal were there to help us get a mailing out, so Miles spent very little time not being held by someone. He was an angel, and played quietly while we worked. Tomorrow, we will be rearranging my office to find room to put up his playpen.

So far, so good! :)

Sleep Success!!!!!!!

Lack of naps yesterday + eating constantly = Miles slept through the night!!! He fell asleep in his car seat around 10:30. We got home around 11:00, and I took him out changed his diaper, and put him in his sleep sack in his bassinet. I realized I had forgotten the pacifier, but by the time I returned with it, he was already out cold. :) He fussed around 5:00, but went right back to sleep, and slept until 9:00 am! I'm starting to feel human again!

Nap-Free

I have been waiting all day for five minutes to type something up. No luck yet. Miles has had 3 naps today: 20 minutes at 11:00, 45 minutes while I was shopping, and 20 minutes on my chest at around 3:30.

He hasn't been particularly fussy, or anything. Just. . . awake. Even though I can see in his little red-rimmed eyes that he is exhausted. But, there is too much fun stuff going on, I guess.

Even now, as I write this, he is awake, playing in his bouncer, though he started rubbing his eyes over an hour and a half ago. He was nearly asleep when I laid him in his crib, but he quickly decided he was hungry. He was nearly asleep when he finished his bottle, but he quickly found that the crib slats were incredible fun to play with. He was almost asleep on my lap again, until the dog moved, and that was fascinating.

Now, he's talking to the flower toy on his bouncer, doing everything he can to keep himself awake.

Oh, well, maybe that means he'll sleep tonight?

Need coffee........

Ugh, I'm tired. . . .

Miles has apparently decided that sleep is for the weak.

Well, son, Mommy is weak. Please let her sleep.

For some reason, he decided that he needed to be awake every hour and a half last night. Except between 3:00 and 4:30, when he just decided to whine to keep himself up the entire time. There was nothing wrong, no signs that he had anything to whine about. But every time his eyes would start to droop even a little, he'd start flailing his arms, making this "uhhhhaaahhh" whine to wake himself back up.

I expected the first few weeks to be bad, but instead, he slept for four hour stretches from the time he came home from the hospital. By eight weeks, he was sleeping through the night, solid blocks of eight to ten hours. I started to think I could handle motherhood.

Now, he's sleeping like I expected him to as a newborn - waking constantly, rarely needing anything.

Except, not really. Because the night before last, he slept straight through without a problem. And yesterday, he had two really good naps, and several shorter ones, as he has for weeks, now.

Someone told me the other day to "sleep when he sleeps." I have, of course, heard this, and have taken it to heart. Unfortunately, the last time I tried to nap with him, I woke to him literally screaming in my ear, so it wasn't terribly restful.

Thank goodness for Patrick, who helped me through the night, then made me coffee this morning. I have the most awesomest husband ever. :)

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go finish the pot of coffee so I can manage to keep up with my son . . . :)

Crib Time!

When I was pregnant, I remember talking to other moms who were planning to co-sleep (sleep with baby in their room) or bed-share (sleep with baby in their bed). I remember thinking they were being ridiculous. My baby was going to sleep in a pack n' play bassinet for a month or two, then move into his crib in his own room. I laughed at the moms who were so clingy to their children before they were even born. In fact, I laughed so loud, it could have been a guffaw.

And then Miles was born. Suddenly, the pack n' play kept him too far away. We rushed out and bought a co-sleeper - a bassinet that attaches to the side of our bed - so he could be closer. Even so, he slept in our bed (for at least part of the night) for six weeks solid. Eventually, I was able to move him into the co-sleeper, where he could sleep by himself, but I was still right there.

Now, I'm facing the reality that my little guy is getting too big for his co-sleeper. I don't have long before I will have to move him to his crib on the other side of the room! And I'm a mess. I'm not ready for him to be that far away, all night long. I would love it if he could fit into his co-sleeper until he was ready for a toddler bed.

But, it's almost time. I could tell by the fact that he wedged himself sideways in it twice last night. And the fact that if he stretches out with his arms over his head (as he often does) he has less than two inches to spare. All too soon, I will be moving him to this crib:

Which, by the way, was bought entirely with gift cards we received at our baby showers. So, if you gave us a gift card: Thank You for the crib. :)

He's ready to move on to the crib. But I'm not. I want him right beside me for a little longer. :(

Go ahead and laugh. Guffaw, if you must. . . :)

The Joys of Teething

So, today has been a looooooooong day.

Let me just start by saying that teething is a b*tch. Seriously. Those top two teeth are thisclose to coming through the gums, but they just won't do it. Which results in a baby who gnaws on his hands constantly. Which causes him to gag, and puke, and worry his Mama. It also results in a baby who can no longer sleep through the night.

I knew it was too good to be true when he started sleeping from 10:00pm until 8:00 am every night - starting at about 8 weeks old. Last night, he finally zonked out around 10:30, and I followed suit about a half an hour later. At 3:30, he woke up screaming, gnawing on his fists like there was no tomorrow. We patted him, soothed him, gave him a bottle, and he finally fell back asleep around 4:00. About 5:30, he woke up fussing because his pacifier had fallen out. I gave it back, and he went right back to sleep. He woke up screaming at 7:00, gnawing on those hands again, but not really wanting anything. Patrick soothed him this time, and Miles finally fell back asleep at 7:30. Patrick's alarm started going off at 7:40, and by 8:00, all three of us were up for the day.

In any other context, that sort of sleep interruption would constitute torture. Do you think we can get the UN Peacekeepers to come talk to Miles about this? :)

Not having had enough sleep, Miles was a little cranky-butt for about 20 minutes after waking up. He finally decided that he wanted the bottle I had been shoving in his face since he woke up. Then, all was better for awhile. We played with the play gym. We had tummy time. We played with a jingle ball. Ate another bottle. Lots of happy smiles all around.

Around 10:30, he finally started getting sleepy, so I popped him in his stroller (which makes a great portable bed, by the way), got him all settled with a pacifier and his Glow Worm, and put him in the bathroom so I could take a quick shower. 20 minutes later, he was still awake, fighting sleep, as only he knows how. I scooped him up and we cuddled down for a cozy little nap.

45 minutes later, he decided that screaming his head off into Mom's ear was an appropriate way to wake her. :(

He was hungry, still making up for the food he lost in the fiasco that was Sunday, I guess. He ate again, and was happy to play again. This time, I laid him beside me on the couch to nap while I grabbed some lunch. I was hoping this would be his long nap. No such luck. 20 minutes later, he woke up, hungry again.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Now, we're in the nap section of our little cycle, and I'm wondering how long it will last this time. If I thought for a moment that it would last for a reasonable amount of time, I'd curl up on the floor next to him. As it is, I've been awakened by a screaming baby enough for one day.

And, through all of this, he is gnawing on his hands as though he planned to swallow them, arm and all. The two teeth still haven't pushed through, but they're there, just beneath the surface, every time he bites down on my finger. I keep hoping that next time he bites, it will be a little sharper, because that may mean a little relief for my handsome little man.

In the meantime, anyone know the number for the UN?

Update on the Sickies

So far, no sickies today. We skipped out on the rice cereal, and he's been entirely normal all day. No pukies, no temperature, nothing. Our happy, playful baby is back! :)

To Call or Not to Call (the Doctor)?

Warning: The following is kinda gross, and not for those with weak tummies. If you feel nauseous, too damn bad. I warned you.

One of the things they should teach you in those newborn classes is that it's hard to tell if a baby is actually sick, sometimes.

Last Thursday, Miles puked twice. I won't go into gory details, but both times involved total outfit changes for both Miles and Mommy. So, early Friday morning, I called and got an appointment with the doctor.

The diagnosis: Clean bill of health. No temperature. No signs of infection. No sickies, whatsoever. Apparently, Miles just thinks it's funny to projectile vomit all over the place.

So, we went on with our weekend. Fed him rice cereal. Gave him a bath. Got him ready for church Sunday morning - which is when he decided that two whole days without puking was just too long. Two minutes before we were supposed to leave, he covered himself, his carseat, and his cute little polo shirt that matched Daddy's.

About 5 minutes before the grossness. . .

I stripped down the baby, cleaned him up, and dressed him in another cute little polo shirt, while Patrick cleaned out the carseat and dealt with the bulk of the yucky. We ran out the door, with only minutes until Mass was supposed to start. Thank goodness for the kind old lady at church who gave up the seats she had been saving for her son and daughter-in-law so we could actually sit.

Ok, no big deal. One little bit of puke. Maybe he just gagged himself on his spit.*

A second round of rice cereal ensued, along with lots of happy playtime. No temperature + happy baby = just a fluke(?)

Wrong again. He threw up twice more throughout the day. I had to change my clothes both times. :(

After The Boy had finally gone to bed for the night, Patrick and I sat on the couch, trying to figure out what was wrong. He still has no temperature, no cough, no congestion, not even a runny nose. When he's not puking, he is a happy, playful little man, inquisitive, as always. He doesn't seem sick. He's just puking everywhere.

Maybe, I suggested, it's from the teething.** Maybe it's the rice cereal, disagreeing with a tummy that isn't as ready to grow up as he is.

Or, maybe he's sick. Without any symptoms.

So far, no puking this morning. If he pukes again (or starts running a temperature, or showing any other sign of illness), I'm calling the doctor. If not, I'm going to assume it's one of the other possibilities, and try not to freak out.

Can someone just invent a gauge or something that can tell me when my baby is sick, and when he's just . . . whatever?

*He does this far more often that I would like to admit. I just have to keep reminding myself that you can be a genius and still forget to swallow from time to time . . . right?

**He has 2 teeth (top center) that feel as though they're going to push through any day now. So much for the doctor's reassurances that "Most babies don't start teething until much later." Doesn't he know that Miles is determined to take over the world before his first birthday? Can't do that without teeth.

The Learning Curve

Miles manages to learn something new everyday.

Yesterday, he learned that sometimes, Daddy takes things apart (this time it was the dryer). He also learned that this process is fascinating. Even the third time in a row.* He just stood in his bouncer, watching as the dryer was deconstructed, and then reconstructed, bouncing at the exciting bits.**

Yesterday, he also learned that food can sometimes have texture. Rice cereal was a hysterical mess. We were smart enough to strip him down to his diaper, then realized that he couldn't sit up well enough to sit in the high chair. So, we pulled out the baby bathtub, and fed him there. The first two bites were promptly spit out in wild-raspberry fashion. (i.e. all over the place!) But, after that, he started to get the hang of it, and actually swallowed about 4-5 spoonfuls by the time he was done. Nevermind the fact that I had offered him probably 12-15 spoonfuls, most of which now covered him. It was bath time!

Except for one thing: in my smugness, I somehow hadn't connected the dots that he would need to be bathed in the bathtub after eating - which he was doing in his bathtub. Yeah, I now win the "Duh" award for the day. . .

So, Daddy got the glorious prize of being allowed to hold a sticky, yucky, cereal-covered little boy, while Mommy cleaned out the tub and filled it with water. No permanent physical damage resulted. Though, Patrick is still claiming long-term psychological scarring. . . :)

And in all of this, I learned something, too. Parenting is so much easier when Daddy is home. :)

*Our dryer is making funny noises, so Patrick took it apart, fixed what he thought was wrong, then had to put it all back together to see if he was right. He was the third time! :)

**Apparently, the front coming off was exciting, but not the removal of the drum. Strange child. . .

Sleep Deprivation Makes You Stupid

Yeah, I think that about says it all, really.

Miles woke up at about 4:30 this morning, and was just laying there, happily playing with his feet. He had done this the night before, and just gone straight back to sleep, so I thought no big deal.

Yeah. An hour and a half, a bottle, and lots of crying and flailing later, he was still awake. And now, he was pissed about it.

Finally, I realized that he may need a diaper change. Miles is the only infant I've ever seen who gets REALLY upset when his diaper isn't clean. (I'm hoping this will make for easier potty-training, but who knows. . .) Sure enough, the poor kid had a dirty diaper the whole time. I got him all cleaned up, and the crying stopped. I felt so bad, I let him snuggle in bed with me for the rest of the morning.

Well, until my phone alerted me that I had a new e-mail at 8:00, since I forgot to turn the sound off last night. . .

Now, Miles is napping peacefully on the couch next to me, unaware that the day ahead is going to be filled with adventures. On our to-do list for the day:

- Try rice cereal for the first time. He's been eating constantly for two weeks, and seems really interested in "real" food, so we're going to give it a whirl. I have a feeling I'm about to end up covered in goo again. . . which is the reason for:

- Bath time! Miles' cradle cap goes away like magic after every bath (and a treatment of baby oil), but is back by the next day. We're going to try bathing more often to see if that helps, though I may decide to back off if I find that it's drying his skin out too much.

- Pick up his crib! It arrived at the store on Wednesday. It's all paid for and everything (thanks to the awesomeness of friends and family who gave us Wal-Mart gift cards as baby gifts!). All we have to do is pick it up and assemble it. . . oh, and figure out where to put it. . . :)

I'd better take advantage of his nap time to catch some snoozes myself! G'night, all!

Jumpin' on the Bandwagon

So, I recently discovered the wonderful world of blogs, and I thought Hmmm. I could do that!

Only, my life is boring, and nobody cares to read about it. So, to those of you actually reading this drivel: Thanks, Mom and Dad! :)

(Cuz Mommies and Daddies are awesome and will read whatever drivel you write, especially if it's about their favorite grandbaby.)

So, onto the cuteness that is my son, Miles.

Miles is three and a half months old. Or sixteen weeks, if you prefer that counting method. Whatever. It's not like he cares how old he is, he's ready to take over the world already. Last weekend, as we ate at Applebee's, he suddenly decided that he was going to sit up on his own, on the table. And lo and behold! he did. Someone tell this child he's growing too fast as it is. He doesn't need to be speeding through the milestones like this.

As though that isn't enough, Miles has discovered that the ladies love him. And he loves them back, of course. He'll give you this bashful smile as he peeps at you under his eyelashes, then turn his head to the side as though your beauty is just too much for him. And of course, every time he does this, every lady in the room melts into a puddle, right there at his feet. I cannot tell you how much time I spend cleaning up puddles that used to be ladies, before my son turned on the charm. I can only imagine what we're in for in sixteen years. . .

Only then, I can pull out the fact that he used to use this same trick on Cozette (the little lithograph girl on our poster of Les Miserables). Something tells me the charm will be thrown off a little when that little tidbit comes out. :D

And like all babies, Miles has discovered his hands, and thinks they're wonderful. Then, he discovered his toes, which are even more wonderful. I just know we aren't far from the day he discovers the fun little toy I hide in his diaper. I'm sure he will find that the most wonderful thing of all.

All in all, he's amazing. And every day, he becomes a little more amazing. I can't imagine there will ever come a day when I won't find him amazing.

But should that day ever come, I'll just tell his girlfriend about his love affair with Cozette. :P