5 Months Old

Dear Miles,

I cannot fathom how you are five months old, already. How it has already been five months since I met you? Five months since I held you for the first time? Five months since my world changed forever?

As I type this, you are playing with your Daddy - quite possibly your favorite person. Though, in all honesty, it is hard to tell. Every time you see someone you recognize, you give them a smile that is only for them, a smile that says, "Yay! It's my favorite person in the whole world!" It's the smile that has won over everyone who has ever met you. You truly love everyone, and so, in return, everyone cannot help but love you. It is my greatest hope that you will retain this quality as you grow - that you will always show love to those around you.

This month has been a hard one for your mommy. You stopped sleeping through the night. You started solid foods. You began crying out of boredom, something you've never done before. You had your first cold. You are showing all of the signs of teething, but no teeth have actually appeared. Yes, as much as I hate to admit it, this month has been difficult for me. I'm not sure you have even noticed, though. You have been too busy learning new tricks, whizzing through milestones, watching everything, trying to take it all in. You are becoming more and more aware by the day, and more and more sure of your movements. You are beginning to understand that there is a way you may be able to move all on your own, soon, and you get so frustrated sometimes that it is so difficult to figure out. You are learning to sit up by yourself, though you still lose your balance from time to time. In short, new things are coming at a rapid pace, and Mommy is having a hard time keeping up!

Mostly, though, Mommy is baffled by your growth. Wasn't it only yesterday that you were sleeping twenty hours a day? Only a few days ago that you learned to smile? Only last week that you were born? The time has passed so quickly, and though I am excited that you are growing and learning, and interacting, I am a little afraid of how quickly these months have passed. If these past five months have flown so fast, what of the next five? Before I know it, you will be a year old. Then two. Then five. Ten. Sixteen. Grown.

And that thought makes me want to cry. But instead, I hold you close, enjoy your smiles, celebrate your milestones, breathe in the wonder of you while I can. Because as scary as it is, I am glad you are growing and learning. I am glad that you are developing as you should, even if it seems to come rapidly. Because that means that you are healthy, and there is nothing more I could ask for you.

I hope you someday can fathom how much I love you. It is truly beyond words, though I hope you feel it everyday of your life.

With all my love,

Mommy