Monday, April 19, 2010

We Have a Cast List!

Alternately Titled: Things Not to Say to the Assistant Director

After four LONG days of auditions and callbacks, we have cast our show for the year.

Don't worry. If you missed out, there's still time to audition next month.

For the rest of us, though, it's time to party and breathe massive sighs of relief. Because Jim was crazy enough to cast us for one more year. I, for one, am ecstatic.

Scratch that. Was ecstatic. Right up until reality set in.

At dinner tonight, I was approached by three separate people who helped to ruin my good mood.

Situation 1:
Person 1: "I was really hoping to get Part X so I could play opposite my boyfriend. Who I've been dating for all of two whole months. Feel sorry for me while I cry. Real tears, even. At least I have the decency to pretend to try to hold them back as I tell you how sad I am that I have to go 'all day without him!'"

Me: "Shut it. This is my third year of Festival. Know how many times I've been cast opposite my husband of 3 years? Zero. So, deal."*

Situation 2:
Person 2: "I hate absolutely every suggestion you have about this part, and not only that, I'm going to be bitchy and make sure you know how stupid I think you are."

Me: "Shut it. You don't have to use my suggestions. I apologize for helping. I will never do it again. Remember that when you need me to fix a mistake on your paycheck."**

Situation 3:
Person 3: "It must be nice to be you. You didn't have to earn your part, you just got to write in whatever part you wanted. You have zero talent."***

Me: "Shut it. I went through the same audition process as you, and I worked my ass off for this part. I earned it. You, on the other hand, got your part because I convinced Jim that you could stop being a bitch. I guess I was wrong there."

Ecstatic feeling = gone. :(

*I should point out that this is the gist of the conversation I had, not the actual words used. I do have the ability to use tact. Really.

**I would never really do that. I just feel like it, sometimes.

***I should probably also point out that this is how the person's remarks made me feel. It's not necessarily what they meant.

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