Friday, June 11, 2010

Sleep Rant (Seriously, you should skip this post)

I want to write a brilliant, witty post. But that sentence took me three tries to get right. Because I'm once again dealing with sleep deprivation.

Miles doesn't like to sleep. At all. He fights it and fights it until he is overtired and cranky. Last night, he was up until almost midnight, because he just didn't want to sleep. And then he woke at 6:20 am, screaming his head off. Because apparently, waking up sucks, too.

After 20 minutes of cuddling, though, he went back to sleep. So did I. Until a phone call from my mom to tell me that my step-sister is in the hospital with appendicitis. (It's ok, mom, I needed to know. I'm just whining about my lack of sleep.) I started to get up, but I was so tired. So, I went back to sleep. Until Miles woke up screaming again at 8:15.


After gallons of coffee, I'm finally awake. And Miles is napping. Welcome to Motherhood.

Honestly, this is the biggest reason that Miles will probably be an only child. I don't deal well with sleep deprivation. It makes me mean and irritable. I explode over the smallest things. Seriously, yesterday I had a crying meltdown because Miles woke up before I was done cleaning out his carseat (which was covered in graham cracker goo). And as I was sobbing on the floor, a little voice of reason in the back of my head kept repeating, "It's really not that big of a deal. You can finish cleaning it later." But I was so frustrated. And it comes from a lack of sleep.

Studies have proven that interrupting a REM cycle repeatedly can lead to full-blown crazy.* Seriously. People start hearing voices, blacking out, seeing things that don't exist. In the past eight months, I have only completed a REM cycle a handful of times. Thankfully, my only symptom is a heavy-duty case of PMS. Every morning, I am woken from a dead sleep and vivid dreams by the screaming of an unhappy baby. And yet, I cannot get to bed any earlier - most nights, I am in bed within half an hour after he falls asleep. No matter what, though, Miles is awake 6-8 hours after he fell asleep. Last night, it was six hours. And I need a minimum of eight hours of sleep to function normally. I feel like I'm beginning to lose my mind. And there's no end in sight. At eight months old, he should be sleeping closer to 10-12 hours a night. I hear stories everyday of babies who sleep up to 14 hours at a stretch. And I can't get mine to even do eight hours reliably. It's so frustrating.

This post really has no point. I'm just whining. And I know it could be worse, because honestly, I have the world's happiest baby for 99% of my day.

I just wish that happy baby came with a little side of sleep for his Mommy.

*Yes, that is the technical medical terminology.

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