Monday, February 7, 2011

Bad Mommy Mondays

This week's list of reasons I am a Bad Mommy.  It's a little short.  We've been indoors all week, so we've had fewer opportunities to be judged. :)  Enjoy!
  1. I don't want more kids.  If I truly loved being a mommy, I would continue to reproduce.  If I truly cared about Miles, I would give him a playmate.  Even if the thought of going through pregnancy and the newborn stage again (this time with a toddler in tow) makes me want to vomit.  I should be barefoot and pregnant already, dammit.
  2. Despite my best efforts, my child is not a good sleeper, and never has been.  Apparently, if I would just [let him cry it out/rock him to sleep every night/random other useless advice] he would be sleeping just fine.  And I need to fix this now, because obviously it's going to affect him for the rest of his life.  He will always have sleep issues if I don't fix them right this minute.  In fact, it may already be too late!!! 
  3. I blog.  Which means I must be ignoring my kid to do so.  Because, you know, I should be watching him even when he sleeps.
  4. I stay at home with my son, rather than going to work and helping to 'provide' for him.  Yeah, this little gem actually came from another stay-at-home mom.  Who doesn't work at all.
  5. I work.  I may take my child with me, but there's no way I'm actually interacting with him at all, so the poor guy must be suffering horribly.  Never mind the fact that he's quite happy to go to the office, and will actually sign bye-bye and go for the door when I mention the word, "work".
  6. I act as a short-order cook some days.  Miles has just hit that picky stage.  Psychology says that this is just a sign that he's discovering his control over his environment.  One of the ways he can control it is to refuse to eat.  So, I offer him three or four different foods at some meals, trying to get him to eat something.  Apparently, this means I'm setting him up to be incredibly picky.  Who cares if he is too young to understand the idea of "you eat what you're given"?

2 comments:

  1. 1. yes, yes you should. why do you even own shoes?
    2. waaaaaay too late. you ve wrecked him for life the teeny adorable little insomniac.
    3. well clearly you wrote this article so your eyeballs have been wrenched away from the little bugger while this was going on. meanwhile hes been signing "mommy look i set the drapes on fire." and "mommy in my excitement about the blaze i started choking on one of the 17 lunch offerings youve provided me. help me...im dying."
    4. you are a terrible person. your child needs to be stuck in a daycare all day so that he can have a playstation3 and the snazziest shoes in town. you suck.
    5. we ALL know you just stuff him in the costume closet and ignore him all day while hes dying of thirst and wasting away to nothing and signs thank you from his ear to the door knob for "being there" for him like you will never be.
    6. let him starve!!!! he'll never learn!!!

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  2. Pren, I am *dying* over here, reading your comment. Thank you! :)

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