I started my new medication Friday night.
Saturday, I woke up feeling dizzy, and nauseous, and disconnected. All expected side effects, but still not very pleasant. While Patrick and Miles prepared for their day, I made myself a nest on the couch and settled in for a day of television. Truth be told, I felt pretty awful. I didn't want to move. In fact, all I wanted to do was curl up and cry. As though the panic attacks weren't bad enough, the medications made me feel horrible. It just wasn't fair.
And then, Miles crawled up on the couch with me. He sat down against me, and held my hand, stroking my fingernails, and occasionally squeezing my hand. He stayed there for half an hour, barely moving, just holding my hand quietly. As though he knew exactly what Mommy needed.