Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Good Day

I had one.  Yesterday.

I woke up, and felt . . . calm.  No hint of the panic that has lurked at the edges of my consciousness for so long.

I kept my cool as I managed to clean house and do laundry, with Miles helping, or playing beside me.

I played with Miles, relishing the joy of simply being present in the moment.

I fought off a panic attack that threatened to ruin my day.  I stepped outside, and took a deep breath, steadying myself, struggling for control.  And I won.

I ate dinner with friends, and enjoyed their company.  Not once did I feel the overwhelming urge to flee from the room that I have felt so often in the past year and a half.

I know that I am not out of the woods, yet.  That there will most certainly be bad days in the future.  For all I know, today could be a return to panic.

But yesterday was good.  And that's a good place to start.

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